fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you inspire me to be a worse person
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
