But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
