C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
someone owes me an orgasm
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
