she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
