God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
