after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I smell like Dick and happiness
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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