Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
