dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
