If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My vagina is very pro this idea
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