i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
