yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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