it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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