The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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