I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
