So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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