we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
