I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
