I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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