You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
