It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
