Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
