It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize