you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
