So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
