I just saw a hot homeless man
I cannot find my penis.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
