The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
