I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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