Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm at about main and main street
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
