friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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