Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize