after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
