You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
false alarm. still invincible.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
