dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
