When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
