So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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