Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
