Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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