How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
