Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
