this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I can't turn off my feet"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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