The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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