Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
