you traded sex for a burrito?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
