Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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