You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
