The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm bleeding and have questions
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
