So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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