They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My pussy is not your playground.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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