quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
