I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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