she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
