How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
