My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
