PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
