i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
