Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize