im holly from the hills drunk
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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