so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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