Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
