no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
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