this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
