that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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