I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
