did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
