I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
