I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize