You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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