I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
