I wannas sexs uuuuu
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
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