There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
