i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
