I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
