i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
