the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
