is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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