first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
